


Crowley's Nip Slip

by mandysimo13



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Blushing, Crack, Fashion Show, Just pure crack, M/M, Teasing, self indulgent crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 11:32:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19294879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandysimo13/pseuds/mandysimo13
Summary: When Crowley finds a delightfully indulgent snake blouse he just knows he has to have it. He also know he has to share it with Aziraphale.





	Crowley's Nip Slip

**Author's Note:**

> This was an accidental fic because of tumblr. Because it's ALWAYS because of tumblr, lol
> 
> Enjoy my self-indulgent crack, you guys!

 

Crowley has attended many a fashion show in his day. So many delightful temptations, so little time. And if he were completely honest, which he rarely was because where’s the fun in that, he would also say that he occasionally found something worth spending absurd amounts of money on. 

After all, greed and vanity were deadly sins and what kind of demon would he be if he didn’t give them a little nudge every once in awhile. 

He had just tempted a terribly tragically thin model into going off her diet and finally eating the spectacular looking donuts off the crew snack bar when he saw it. A sexy little number that made him grin like he hadn’t in ages. So frivolous and so unnecessary, a wisp of fabric with embroidery that left nothing to the imagination all capped off with velvet. It was lovely, it was indulgent, it had a snake. 

Crowley had to have it. 

He waited until the model finished her strut on the run way and to discard her outfit for something new before creeping up to the rack of pricey designer clothes. He flicked through the rack, determined not to get distracted by the other flashy bits of posh clothing. When he found the ensemble he grinned toothily, miracled up a garment bag to shove it in, and calmly strode out from backstage to his Bently. As he pulled away he was genuinely sad he wouldn’t be around to witness the ensuing chaos of the missing garment but he was just too excited to try it on himself. 

Chaos could wait for another day. 

When he got back to his flat he miracled up a three-piece full length mirror so he could see himself properly. With efficiency, he stripped himself of his usual leather and jeans and slowly donned his new outfit. First went the sheer embroidered shirt with its snake tail cheekily curling downward. After noticing that his chest looked very out of place and very unhuman, he snapped his fingers and produced some very fine looking nipples to give him a more “natural” look. Next came the velvet skirt which looked very fine and gave his hips and ass a lovely shape. But when he stuck his hands in the pockets he realized how shallow they were and momentarily cursed his previous demoning in making the fashion industry believe women’s pockets need not be functional because “every woman carries a purse, pockets are unnecessary and unflattering, just get rid of them! Or, better yet, just make them noticeable but not functional. It’s for the aesthetic!” Scowling slightly, he slipped out of the skirt and decided on pairing the shirt with a pair of tight leather pants instead. 

While they looked like they were painted on, they at least had functioning pockets that could hold a mobile phone, thankyouverymuch. 

Lastly, he donned the velvet jacket and checked himself out in the mirror. He looked  _good._  He grinned at himself in the mirror and decided to take his little fashion show on the road to Aziraphale’s. After all, what good was high fashion if you couldn’t show it off?

When he strode into Aziraphale’s shop the bell tinkled his arrival and he heard his angel’s curt voice shout from the back, “so sorry, we’re just about to close. But do come again when we reopen!” 

Crowley chuckled, “is that any way to treat a customer, angel?” 

Aziraphale’s face popped out from the back room with a positively glowing smile. “Oh, Crowley! How lovely to see you.” He took in the get-up Crowley was dressed in and waved his fingers in Crowley’s direction. “What’s all this, then?”

Crowley spread his arms and did a little spin to show off the whole thing. “Do you like it?” The jacket flared and he caught Aziraphale’s eyes go wide before he averted his gaze. 

“It’s...certainly something,” Aziraphale said, blushing slightly. “Tea?” 

He must look good. Aziraphale was more flustered than usual. Deciding to press his luck, he shimmied off the jacket and flung it over his shoulder as he followed Aziraphale into the tiny kitchen in his back room. “Would love some.” 

Aziraphale busied himself making tea, even though he could have just snapped his fingers and it would appear ready and hot in their mugs. But he always insisted that it tasted better when done “the proper way”. Crowley never minded either way. 

He threw the jacket carelessly over the back of a chair and sprawled on the couch in the back room, stretching himself out on full display. When Aziraphale turned with two steaming mugs in his hand he startled, spilling drops of tea in his flinch. 

“Good lord, must you be so shameless.” 

Crowley laughed at that. “Uhm, hello? Demon!” 

“Yes yes yes, we all know that thank you.” He strode across the room to hand Crowley his mug, eyes thoroughly placed on anything other than Crowley. 

“What’s got your knickers in a twist, angel,” he asked full well knowing what had his knickers in a twist. If, in fact, the angel wore knickers. 

Aziraphale sighed and sank into his own chair near the couch. “I  _cannot_  take you seriously with your nipples showing like that! Why do you even  _have_  nipples!” 

Feigning ignorance, Crowley looked down and brushed a hand over one of them before looking back up as innocently as he could. “Looked weird without them. All the humans have them. Would look out of place if I didn’t have them.” 

Aziraphale blinked fussily before dropping his gaze to his mug. “Oh. Of course.” He took a sip, finger tapping nervously on the side of the mug. Then his head snapped back to Crowley. “Who else is looking at your nipples?!” 

Crowley shrugged, drinking from his own mug. “No one yet. Just thought I’d try them out.” 

“Oh. Well.” Aziraphale sipped once more, seemingly placated. After a few moments Aziraphale asked, “have you done the nipple thing before?” 

Crowley nodded. “Once or twice. Why? Have you?” 

Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably. “Might have. Once or twice.” 

“OOoooh,” Crowley crooned. “Show them off to anyone I know?”

“Heavens, no!” Aziraphale gasped, affronted. Then he blushed and smiled shyly at his tea. “Oscar Wilde was very persuasive.” 

Crowley couldn’t help but cackle at that, tears of humor forming in his eyes. He wiped them away gasping, “you tart! You hussy!”

Aziraphale’s mouth dropped open in offense. “I am not a tart! You weren’t there! You don’t know!”

“Oh, I wish I had been! That would have warmed the cockles of my pitchblack heart for YEARS, angel!” He bent forward, trying for serious. “Tell me, angel. What  _did_  he do with your nipples?” 

Aziraphale sniffed and crossed his legs primly, moving to take a sip from his tea. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Crowley’s jaw dropped in surprise. “You’re go- you’re damned right I would!” He wiggled in his seat excitedly. “Come on, I’ve shown you mine now show me yours!”  

“Oh, honestly,” Aziraphale chided. But then he smiled and he said, “perhaps another time.” 

Satisfied for the moment, Crowley let it go and sank back into the couch. “I’ll hold it to you, angel.” He looked down at his outfit, fingering over the embroidery once more, fondly. This was fast becoming his favorite acquirement in decades. He just might put it in his regular rotation. The thought of consistently flustering Aziraphale with something as innocuous as nipples definitely had an appeal. 

 _Perhaps another time, indeed,_  he thought optimistically, already planning his next nip slip. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Nip Slip](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298101) by [Ina_K](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ina_K/pseuds/Ina_K)




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